For those of you who know my plans for oh...the next three weeks of my life...you may be wondering why I am only now writing this post to update my blogging audience on what is about to go down. The answer to that is: not really sure. The last few months have been a bit topsy turvy, with my health problems (hey, I got an MRI and the results came back all clear. I diagnosed myself as overworked and since Brazil is on vacation right now, I am underworked and feeling great!) and with Christmas and with plan-making, I guess I just kept putting it off. Ok, that's a lie. The real reason is that this is news that I prefer not to talk about, as it makes me feel a bit queasy/shakey, so in true Cris fashion I guess I thought if I ignored it, it would either A) go away or B) announce itself to you. Neither A nor B happened, so I am left with option C: spill the beans.
Exactly two weeks from today, to the minute, actually, I will be leaving Natal and concluding my internship with Let's Start Talking. I will be going back to the States to spend 1-2-3 months visiting family, friends, and every Mexican restaurant within driving distance that serves free queso. My primary objective in this trip, however, (besides the Mexican food, of course) is to meet with churches who may be willing to sponsor and/or support me financially in order that I may return to Natal and continue working with Comunidade de Cristo as a full-time missionary. The plans for me to stay on after the conclusion of my internship have been in the works for a while, but only recently did we add a trip back to the US into the mix. I had intended to stay here in Natal with LST through March, but God has a funny way of opening doors and shoving me through them, and so back to the northern America I will go. Only temporarily, I hope.
I am excited/scared/nervous/giddy/craving Mexican food/queasy/happy/restless all at the same time about this. The negative emotions come from the doubting Thomas side of me, who tends to focus on the idea that I have no return ticket (yet) and my future in Natal is going to be determined by missions committees. The positive emotions come from the believing, risk-taking, get-out-of-the-boat Peter side of me who tends to occasionally think about the fact that God is actually who is in control here, and with full confidence I can say that I believe He wants me to continue serving in Natal, and then I start to Dream Big about what three more years working in this amazing ministry could do for the Kingdom, and then I get so excited about it that I actually stop thinking about Mexican food for a second and I just think about how there is nowhere in the world I would rather be at this stage in my life than Natal, Brazil, despite the lizards.
So there you go, a very accurate glimpse into my current mental and emotional state. The missionaries here have known for a while, the church as a whole found out about two weeks ago, and I just emailed the readers to let them know, too. In case your first response was to think "Gee, I wonder how I can help her..." I would like to say that the BEST way you can help me here it to PRAY. The uncertainty of it all is really nerve-wracking for this self-professed perfectionist control-freak, and I could use some heavenly peace to calm my nerves.
I ask that you please pray for wisdom in the hearts of those whom I will be meeting with, that you pray for wisdom in my heart to respond appropriately to whatever answers I may receive, that you pray for safe travels, that you pray for the church here in Natal that is day by day trying to reach Natal for Christ, that you pray for my readers who are searching for answers, and that you pray for my health as I am about to eat an obscene amount of Mexican food. (Ok, totally kidding on that last one...but seriously...can you tell what I'm looking forward to? I need help.)
So, there you have it. I will be spending the next two weeks hanging out with readers, church members, friends, the beach, and conducting a few last reading sessions with the readers who stuck around during vacation. I will spend the week after that packing, crying a bit, flying, preparing powerpoint presentations, and, you guessed it, eating Mexican food. :) I'll keep you updated as I get updated. Thanks for your support, prayers, and hopefully a laugh or two at my neurotic, but brutally honest, writing style.
Monday, January 19, 2009
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3 comments:
We are praying for your transition, Cris! If you're in our area, stop by and we'll do some Mexican food here for sure!!! --
Julie D. @ LST.
Eat a basket of chips and bowl of salsa for me! Seriously, DO NOT leave even one chip uneaten.
I love you! We are praying! You made me laugh!!
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